I wannas sexs uuuuu
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
