you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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