your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
