Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
