The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
