it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
