Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
