i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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