What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
