the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
