Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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