D3 body, D1 cock
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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