You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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