I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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