The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
