I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
