Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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