I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
