There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
