This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
