Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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