Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
