This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
