I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
