Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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