I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
