I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
