u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
