i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
