The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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