You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
