she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
