Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
