her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
