He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
