so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
