what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
