Having a random hookup so left but love u
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
