bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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