belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
