the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
