Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
