I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
