Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
