I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
