haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
