he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
