I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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