Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
