we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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